Amendment, if I must

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

The titles of my posts almost never have anything to do with what I am actually posting about. They are usually phrases that come to my mind as a joke. I don't explain them. They're usually only funny to me. I don't care if no one else understands them.

So, with that said, no Dan, I did not call Christina a ho by titling my last post "HO HO HO" and showing three pictures of Christina. If you really must know, it's a joke from this video of Larry the Cable Guy. My mom showed it to me because she thought it was hilarious. Which is ironic to me.

She came up to me the other day and asked what "Git 'er done" meant. So I showed her some quick websites that had LarryTCG. She hated him. She thought he was disgusting and rude and there were plenty of redneck poop and fart jokes to help reinforce her hatred too.

Now she shows me this...I just thought it was a little funny. Not worth explaining to anyone but worth putting a title in so that I can giggle at it myself. I'm sorry if anyone was offended by the sheer randomness of it.

My final thought: Dan, get your head out of the gutter.

... Alright I lied about the final thought.

On that note! Just for stupid sake, let's go through those funny little titles that never seem to make sense and I'll explain them all, obvious or not.

"We knew this would happen sometime" - I stole this from Jame's comic website. Thank you James, I thought it was clever and appropriate.

"Sinead O'conner" - This one was about me cutting off all my hair.... google it if you still don't get it.

"For the love of Japan" - well, alright so this title isn't exactly enigmatic but it was appropriate (which is more than I can say for my other titles) I hadn't begun the trend of randomness and I might not continue it either. It really depends on my mood.

"Nose Picking: When a Tissue Just Isn't Enough" - I don't remember where I had heard this but it's not very original though I thought it was cute. Maybe this is too much information for the net but I have inherited one of my dad's habits. I've begun picking my nose with a tissue. What's funny is that I feel justified by using a tissue, but it's still nose picking.

"Narcissism" - I have my tendencies :)

"Omens" - Again, not very original.

"Can be Chicken or not Chicken" - Now this is the best. I really love explaining this one. I was sitting in my 7:30am Magic, Ritual and Belief class. My teacher was babbling on about different types of religious acts. He began with symbols. He said, "Symbols come in a variety of different forms. For one, they can be verbal or non-verbal". This made me wake out of my morning daydream haze and think for a minute. They can be verbal. Ok. They can be non-verbal. Ok..... THE HELL? Why even say that? So, like, they could be anything. They could be written. Or not written. They could be clothing. Or not clothing. They could be Chicken or not Chicken!!! I hated that teacher.

"I speak good... enough" - I hope no one thinks I speak like this. It was almost painful for me to write 'good' instead of 'well'. But that was the joke for me. My mom reads my emails and thinks that I make such horrible mistakes that there is no way that I could be a good English teacher. The thing is that emails are supposed to be informal and I just write in a stream of consciousness. At least with my blog I spell check. You'll see mistakes. I don't care. I'm not trying to teach anyone anything when they read this.

"Why, Morrolan, you sexy beast" - heehee *Blush* I like Morrolan from Steven Brust's Taltos Novels. He is naturally my favorite character.

"Lost at Sea" - This is the song that was my current favorite of the group Eisley which I was recommending in that post.

"がんばって!ニーナちゃん!!" - It say's Ganbatte! Ninachan!! Which in Japanese means good luck Nina or do your best Nina. For those of you who do not have a Japanese language patch for windows (or any other os) probably only see a bunch of boxes. Sucks to be you.

"Time! Time! Who's got the time!!" - From Alice in Wonderland, the Disney version. When I was in high school my best friends Dawn and Kiley used to quote that movie, and others, in every conversation and we would laugh hysterically for hours.

"Peace (^_^)v" - A cute Japanese face making the peace sign. That's all.

"What Jung Really Said" - This really was random. I didn't know what to put for a title and I had a scroll down window of all the things I had searched for since the last time I reformatted my computer. This was the title of a book I was researching for my Sleep and Dreams class in the Fall 2004.

"Becca and Tucker I think it was..." - This chick (the one in the picture) was on a Disney TV show when I was younger. She was the main character, Becca(I think), and her best friend was Tucker. They lived right next door to each other and would talk on the phone while looking at each other out their windows. It was really cute and Tucker was really funny. I wonder what it was called... I should look it up on

"I wanted "Nina-isms" as my url, but someone already stole it" - If the post worked the way it was supposed to, then you should have been sent to the which had an article about G.W. Bush. This reminded me that I wanted my url to be Nina-isms. But someone already took it.

"Dear Strong-buttons, Let's not mince words...I love you guys!" - I don't go to very often but everyone who does knows that the strong bad emails are the best part. Whenever he checks his mail, he always says something witty that has to do with the website. This is a quote he made that I thought was cute. I don't remember what made me think of it at the time.

"Mars Power Make Up!" - In Japnaese, this is what Sailor Mars says when she transforms.

"Gobbledy Gook" - In my mind, this phrase reminds me of Thanksgiving and how I feel after eating mass quantities of food. I don't actually know what it means but I had to google it to figure out how to spell it. Google: Better than spell check any day (^_~)b

"If you had a time Machine, where would you put it?" - I was at work when I hear in the back of my head, Kevin asking Adam just this. It was the perfect amount of random. This was also the day that I introduced the gang to www. It helped to make a slow day at work turn into a fast paced competition to see who could catch the most bees in a bubble! Good times.

"He kissed her, little by little - Wicked pg 124" - This really stuck out at my while I was reading Wicked. (btw, strange book, excellent ending) The phrase really said "He kissed her, he kissed her, he kissed her, little by little by little." This was because the guy that was kissing her was a munchkin. So, he was really short which they brought much attention to seeing as that was his most unattractive quality. I wanted to put in the whole quote without the page number but this way, I feel like it makes me look like less of a pervert. See, I know what it means, and no one else was supposed to. So reading the phrase as it is, just looks odd…in a bad way.

“Rum Balls…but why is the rum gone?!” – Not one of my best titles. Christina and Dan were making rum balls while I was in the bedroom blogging. I don’t think of myself as a loser, but I speak only for myself.

Which brings us back to my latest blog title. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

Lady of the evening, lady of the evening, lady of the evening.... aka: Ho Ho Ho

Monday, December 19, 2005

Is it Christmas yet? No. No it's not.

1. I finished my Christmas shopping about a week ago. Now, I'm just waiting for Christmas so I can actually get them.
2. Since I have already purchased said presents and because I refuse to get a waste of my time and not worth the money winter job, I have been sitting at home bored as hell. I've been dying to post, but I decided to wait for some unflattering pictures. Besides, there's nothing interesting about a bored girl who refuses to work.
3. I'm bored....I might die.

So, updates, updates... right. I think I'll wait until I get my presents before I announce to the world what it is that I've received. There's something a little anti-x-mas about buying your own gifts. Don't get me wrong though, it's a sure fire way to get exactly what you want. But at the same time, there's just something missing.

I'd show you pictures of my Chirstmasy house, but I have none. Not just pictures, I don't even have a Christmasy house! I'm thankful to just have a house! I finally broke down last night and broke out the two foot fiber optic pos that my mother calls a "tree". It changes colors when you plug it in. It could be considered a Christmas tree if it weren't two say the least. How do you put my massive amount of presents under a two foot nothing, plastic, fruitloopy, green pipe cleaner?!?! It doesn't even smell like pine. This just isn't Christmas.

Maybe I'll take a picture of it with my new digital camera.... I will when I get it.

The weather has been nicely not cold. It doesn't feel like Christmas because it's not cold, but personally, I like the idea of being able to walk outside and not freeze my little flip flop wearing tootsies. This is Florida, it should always be a reasonable temperature if not wretchedly hot. Aside from the overcast, gloomy and drizzly sky, the weather has been very nice. (^_~)b

Now, onward to unflattering pictures!

Right before I left Orlando to return to my birthplace of doom, Christina and I hosted a small Christmas get together. Nothing big and fancy, just tacky. I tried to find the best pictures out of the bunch, but I didn't want anyone to look drunk, high, ugly, camel toe, or overall bad.

Contrary to popular belief, this isn't a picture of Christina. It is a picture of the awesome gift I gave her for Christmas. A six pack of Bellhaven Scottish Ale. It is our favorite and I just happened to stumble upon it when I was at a whole foods store. I picked myself up a pack too.

Even though Christina promised herself and me that she selfishly (and rightfully) wouldn't let anyone have some of her glorisous beverage, she still did. She's just not that selfish ;)

Next, here is the perfect example of what we were trying to go for. Cheese. Christina is wearing one of the most tacky outfits imaginable. The point: to look as cheesey as imaginable. Boots, red fishnets, a "vixen" pink t-shirt, and a gun. I really have no idea what it is that she's holding...but it looks like a gun to me.

In the background, you'll see out TV. She got a DVD of a woodburning fire. It sings Christmas carols too. So cute.

And this is Chrissy and Christina looking like they are having a great time. (cheesey shirt on Chrissy and a nice Charlie Brown tree on the ironing board. Our other roommates surprised us by putting the cutest tree skirt around it. Why they had a mini tree skirt lying around the house, I'll never know. But we still haven't told them how neat it was.)

Fun Times Mission: Accomplished

Rum Balls.... but why is the rum gone?!

Friday, December 9, 2005

I'm completely done with finals. I'm completely done with this semester!!! GLORY ONTO THE HIGHEST!!! I have survived!

In celebration of the ending of this horrendous school season, I have decided to give you a glimpse into what it is like to have Magic, Ritual and Belief at 7:30 in the AM with Nina the wonderful, beautiful and talented artist.

Here are the best of my notes. I have to write something to keep my interest up so that I didn't start fantasizing about the latest slice of beef cake. (They change as quickly as the channels when I'm surfing.)

We can all see what I was thinking about. Ghost in the shell for starters. (The Japanese says Tachikoma which happens to be what I drew) The second drawing is of a buffalo because we were talking about the Ghost Dances of the Native Americans (hence ghost in the shell). They believed that if they danced blah blah blah the buffalo would return... and other such things. Don't ask me what's up with me drawing right beside the hole punches.

I needed to get this part of the notes from Christina. Drawing can't always stop me from thinking of other more attractive things during class. Forgive me for not finding Psychic bashing interesting. I already know that most psychic readings are totally ridiculouss.

My teacher really liked saying some weird things. I think the early morning class took a toll on him as well. I don't care. I didn't like him well before the class began. He would say weird things like FIRE and FIZZLE, without so much inflection. But those bold words deserve such inflection. You can tell I took it that way. Those pictures off to the side are of a fire that is carbonatedd. It's fizzling.

You can tell what I was laughing to my self about. hahahaha

Let's just be thankful that I don't hand write this blog. My hand writingg is horrible regardless of how early or not early in the morning it is. This is my favorite picture. It's about the Cargo Cult of Melanesia. This is what is written in case you can't read it:

#2 - Cargo Cults -Melanesiaa - 1890's - 1960's - Deprived of self determination, power, rule. Under the thumb of European powers (damn whites). They didn't believe the Europeans were living up to what they are said to do. The could conquer (quere) the the world because they have cargo (pants) or manufactured pants goods. Difference between Europeans and Melanesians was cargo so they thought they needed cargo. Prophets sprung up saying they would be given their rightful cargo. Stopped working waiting for it.

Interesting I'm sure. But when I heard cargo all I could think about were cargo pants because I love them so much. Thank the lord for pockets!

More fire and fizzle. Can you believe it?! He said it again! How unoriginal! I couldn't let that go without more pictures.

So yes, these are my notes. My expensive education at it's best!

I really did learn a lot in that class and I'm glad I took it. Albeit, I'm a little bitter about the scheduled case you hadn't noticed.

He kissed her, little by little - Wicked pg 124

Monday, December 5, 2005

I can't remember what made me think about it this morning but there was a hilarious joke I found on the internet a few months ago. To my dismay I found that even though I saved the link, the joke itself has been taken down. Luckily for me, I'm cool enough that I accidentally saved it! WHOO! So, here is a funny joke for your enjoyment. Perhaps it will live on in eternity with my blog. I can only hope *sniffle*


Laughter is the face orgasm. When you laugh, the private organs must go, "What the heck was that? I thought we were in charge of fun!"

It must freak the ol' nads out. I imagine there's a running competition between the sex drive and the sense of humor. A battle between the funny bone and the boner. Which can cause more pleasure? The ha ha or the oo la la? Comedy or hot dripping sweaty naughty good times?

Which begs the question: After you share a big hearty laugh with someone--the kind that makes you convulse with nasal snort noises--do you still respect each other in the morning? Do you avoid each other, then bump into them at the water cooler and sheepishly go, "So. Things got weird, huh? I laughed. You laughed. One thing led to another..."

Ever look at someone and go, Man, I'd sure love to get together with that piece of funniness and laugh and laugh till milk shoots outta me. That person will make milk come out my nose over and over and over again. Ooh. Yeah. Tell me the one about the rabbi and the penguins, baby... Right there... Yeah... Ah! Ah! AH HA HA HA HA HA!

If you had a time Machine, where would you put it?

Friday, December 2, 2005

I love my job. Here's a window into the world that is The Computer Lab.

I recieved this email from my coworker Kevin. I cut out the just wasn't funny.

[begin email]

...while these shifts may have already taken place and were not covered, please feel free to use our Super-Dooper-SGA-Lab Time Travel Machine. It can be found over by the Office Supplies area. (home of the previously broken electric hole puncher, everlasting jammed stapler, and schreechingly loud paper cutter) It is located right to the left of the counter. You may look and see a simple paper shredder, but this is no ordinary paper shredder.

To use it, simply write the date and time of the shift you would like to cover on a plain white piece of paper, and insert accordingly. You will then appear in the lab ready to cover the desired shift, as long as it is still open. Please do not travel back to a time when the lab is closed, as you may find yourself locked in a dark room haunted by the evil spirits of our angriest of current and past lab customers.

For large group time travel, see the man in charge of our poster printer. It will cost you $2 per square foot of every person who wants to travel, and we round up to the next foot to ensure that no body parts are left out of the time travelex.

Please observe that you must insert one page at a time, in order to avoid catastrophic time machine travel failure. We've had other forms of failure here in the past (see: electric holepuncher failure) and that was able to be replaced. But since this new machine is recent technology, we cannot exactly gurantee that we can solve the problem. You will run the risk of half of yourself sent back to the desired time and date, and your other half will be left sitting here unable to walk out on your own because your legs are wandering off in Africa in the middle of the Sahara Desert looking for a bathroom to use.

If you have any further questions about our new Super Dooper Time Machine, see Kevin or Adam.

[end email]

Well, I thought it was cute.

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