Friday, May 1, 2009

I'm leaving this place in 3 months. The weather is nice now so I figured it would be a good time to clean out some of my apartment. So far, I have a nice large box of books to get rid of and a pretty solid list of things to leave, sell, and pack.

After a little bit, I decided to clean out my front storage area. While moving things around, I saw a pretty big spider but thought nothing of it. Hey man, I'm outside, he's outside, we're both outside, what's the problem?

The problem is that my door was propped open because it's such a nice day today.

When I started moving things around, the pretty big spider got scared and ran into my apartment where he suddenly morphed into FUCKING GIANT SPIDER IN MY GOD DAMN APARTMENT!!!!

The crime scene...
Let's zoom in on that bad boy. He even has an evil glowing eye!!!


So I did what any other girl would do. I grabbed a plastic broom and started swatting at it.

He didn't move.

It might have been because I wasn't quite close enough to touch him...he's EFFING HUGE!!!! (need I remind you) so I was kinda too scared to get too close, even with a broom.

THEN, once I got the balls to get closer, he didn't run away. Instead, he started facing the broom like he was about to attack it!!


I backed up and looked around the hallway where I was. I found some Korean Cup Ramen that has been sitting there since I came back from Korea in October '08. I chucked one at him.

It missed and flew out the door.

I chucked the second one, screamed "kyaaaaa" and missed again.

I can only imagine what people must be thinking. A nice quiet afternoon. They look down the walkway and hear some very Japanese style screaming while cup ramens are flying out someone's doorway...I can just imagine the looks.

So I called my friend Steven (he lives 20 minutes away)

No answer.

I then called Michelle (2 hours away).

No answer.

I called Dave (Ibaraki, 2 hours plane ride away)

No answer.

I then tried Steven again when Dave called me back. He then sat on the phone with me for 20 minutes while I freaked out. Against Dave's suggestions, I pulled out the vacuum and tried to vacuum the thing up. It just ran to the ceiling and sat there.

Remember that box of books I was talking about before? Yeah, they were by the door. So I proceeded to pick them up, one at a time and chuck them at the spider.

"Date me baby one more time" (present from Christina) MISS
"Perfume" by Patrick Suskind MISS
"Yokoso" Japanese study book MISS
Fuck it, throw the broom at him!!! MISS
"The Hottest State" by Ethan Hawk HIT

The spider fell to the floor and started running away from the door and TOWARDS ME!!!


And then I lost him!

By this time, my front shoe area had quite a few books and shoes all over the place. He could be anywhere...

So I pulled out an umbrella and scrooted everything outside and closed the door. When the spider is outside, he turns back into "a pretty big spider" again so he's not so dangerous...

But then Dave (who's still on the phone) says, "Nina, how do you even know he's in that pile?"

Hmmm, good point, so I look around. Underneith my shoes in the corner I see something, AND THERE HE WAS!!!!

So whipped out a can of bug "freezer" spray. I bought it some time ago when I wanted some bug killer but didn't want chemicals in my apartment. Turns out, this stuff was pretty chemically anyway. Oh well. And then I froze the thing to death!!! MAUAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Let's zoom in on that shall we?

Gawd, just looking at it brings back horrors.

And so begins my first day of Golden Week (solid week of holidays) Let the relaxing begin (T-T)

5 shared their love:

jessica said...

OH MY GOD! This is so crazy. It reminds me of when I had the freaky giant wolf spiders in my house! Long story short, it ended in me finding a giant scary spider behind my bath towel and screaming naked, at the top of my lungs until Drew killed the giant evil thing!

Anonymous said...

Freeze spray??? What a fantastic idea!!! I love it! I notice the handle of your purse got frozen too. Did it get damaged in the cold or is this stuff just frozen water? Maybe it's like freon. That's illegal here, but what a fantastic idea!

Your writing sounds like that poor girl who wrote about the centipde. Freaky.

Did this spider have claws like a lobster? It almost looks that way in the picture of him frozen. I'm glad you survived. I'm glad he didn't. GO, NINA!!

love, mom

Lauren Brown said...

Commendable... that is all I can say. I would've run from the apartment like the little girl that I am, and stayed out until someone else could take care of it. Good on ya! :)

Lauren Brown said...

Sheesh! I just looked at the pics again... not a good idea before bed. I can't imagine seeing it in person! Yiiiikes!

Anonymous said...

OH MY GOD! Would have scared the crap out of me to! However, this was a hysterical read! I sear you should find a publisher when your done with your adventures and publish this blog in a book.

Can't wait to see you soon!!!

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